I'm cross-posting this to my personal journal, as it contains personal information. <3 <3 The Pirate Queen
Your Masturbation Kit
We *TOLD* you we'd be talking about things here that we wouldn't be talking about on the Myspace page.
Not everyone has one, but even those who think they don't need one--that Helga and her 4 sisters
are just fine on their own, might consider the benefits of adding a lube or sex lotion some of the time--or wet wipes and a stack of tidy little hand towels by the bed. We have a friend who is the epitome of neatness. he always masturbates with a condom on for easy cleanup. We believe this might serve a dual purpose of "condom training"
--making condom use so second-nature that he has none of the difficulty that sometimes plagues men when they have to stop in the middle of a hot sexual encounter to strap on their raincoat.
Or maybe you have one or two mainstays that you only employ occasionally while masturbating, but you find that you always come back to the same old favorite when you do dip into the tool box. We have another friend who occasionally gives Helga and the girls a rest and instead employs a grapefruit,
sometimes gently warmed up, with a hole carved out of one side for his cock. He swears by this, and I for one, am eager to hear your thoughts, should anyone out there want to give this a try.
Here then, is the Pirate Queen's Masturbation KitThe Dildos
Some years ago, The Queen switched all Her vibes/dildos over to Tantus brand toys (http://www.tantusinc.com/home.php). Here's why: YOU CAN PUT THESE FUCKERS IN THE DISHWASHER.
Tantus states, " Tantus Toys are hypoallergenic, phthalate free, odorless, boilable, and bleachable. Great for those with sensitive skin." and "All Tantus Toys are hand-made in the USA with the utmost pride and craftsmanship. A toy from Tantus is meant to be used and with minimal care, Tantus Toys can last a lifetime."
So this first one was a birthday present to the Pirate Queen from a friend. It has a space inside for inserting a vibrating bullet and works about the best with Her strap-on. In fact, She calls it "The Dong of Friendship
," but occasionally, She likes to get experimental in her masturbating and that little bend can help out a lot.
This is the "small silk" dildo. Just a whopping 4.4" long. Why? Sometimes the Queen is in the mood for a little double penetration
while getting Herself off. This one is great for anal insertion, or to slide into the pussy with a larger dildo as you are fantasizing about both Captain Jack and Barbossa at the same time.
The Queen has the "out of print" aqua-colored version of the Echo model, thus She has dubbed it, "The Blue Meanie." But it's really not. Those ridges are divine. In fact, She might just tell you more
about it further on.
Last, but literally not least, the Queen has another "out of print" model similar to the one above, but smoother. She calls it "The Big Black One," of course.
The Butterfly is ridiculous, but get rid of that and you have the Queen's favorite bullet. Marketed as an "ipod vibrator," this clever little gadget also plugs into other stereoesque equipment. The Queen was pleased to find that she could plug it into her laptop and eventually had to cancel her Eve subscription, as addiction is an ugly thing
. There is a sensitivity dial for sound input, however, and this little guy can plug away just fine without the audio as well. We have been pleased with its durability and long battery life as well.
Also a gift from a friend. We don't know what to say. It must be the ears
.One More Thing
DO NOT get the wooden ones. DO NOT get the heavy duty ones. Just the plain old cheap plastic ones. We think a more in depth discussion of the How-tos and whats and wheres of safety pins might be worth its own discussion, so for now, if you choose to read the Queen's masturbation story below, you can get a sample
of how they can be used.
Well that rounds off the Pirate Queen's standby's for her masturbation kit.What's in yours?
Truly We want to know. The more you know about sex, the more you realize that you can never learn it all. Do you wonder if your masturbation kit is average? Do you have something no one else has thought of yet? Or that hasn't shown up in our local Toy Store? Do you have it down to a science and only need that one SPECIAL item? What is it?PURE PORN BELOW: